Slide rules

What went down at the park last Sunday

Welcome to Mother’s Gonna Work it Out – a newsletter not just for mothers with children, but for everyone who cares for anyone. All previous posts are here.

I had a fight with a dad in a playground this weekend. It kicked off after his son planted both his feet in Dexter’s face at speed when he hurtled down a steep slide without waiting his turn. 

‘What are you doing?’ I asked this kid, as I retrieved a sobbing Dexter from a heap at the bottom of the slide. 

‘You can’t control children!’ shouted the dad from the top of the slide. He’d been up there the whole time – while we’d waited for a window for Dexter to have a go, while his son tried to push past him, when I let his son jump the queue (‘probably a good idea’ I was told), and when Dexter had set off down the slide, his son agitating just behind.

‘That’s your JOB,’ I fired back. ‘You’re his PARENT. It’s up to YOU to make him wait his turn.’

I wasn’t done yet. ‘It’s up to YOU to teach him to share. It’s up to YOU to teach them to be nice to each other.’

‘So you’re arguing with a three year old?’ he shouted from the top of the hill as we walked away.

I turned to face him. ‘I’m arguing with YOU.’ I jabbed my index finger in his direction. ‘And you look like you’re older than three.’

I didn’t think I’d be the type to question someone’s parenting, at volume, in a playground, but this altercation inspired many shades of emotion. It was the first time I’d seen my child harmed by another while the parent watched – and did nothing about it. I felt sad this child wasn’t being taught the tools to exist harmoniously in a playground, and anger at a dad who felt to act with impunity. Also, where was the apology? 

One thing’s for sure – there will certainly be more moments like this. Slides are psychodramas – my friend booted a girl down one the other day after she’d compromised her son’s safety – but I won’t be keeping Dexter away from them. He has as much right as anyone else to enjoy himself. He also needs to find his way around this fraught world of ours, with all its ups and downs.

But I will absolutely be there, in the background, ready to give a dad an earful when necessary.